Conflict

January 2, 2015

On one occasion I had a conflict with my downstairs neighbor. They were playing their music loudly at night. I sent this person an email the following morning letting them know I could hear their music and asking them to kindly keep it down at night. They responded that I just needed to come downstairs and tell them that their music was too loud when necessary, and they'd comply.

Looking back at the conflict, it's clear that the source of it was the loud music and my response to it. When I think about the conflict, I feel disrespected. The action I took to resolve the conflict, sending an email the next morning, only resulted in further disregard for my personal (ear) space. If I could go back, I think I would make it more clear how disrespected I felt, not necessarily angry. I would also make it more clear that if there were any sounds that our neighbor noticed and reported, I would try my best ot get rid of them. I think an honest response about how I was feeling, as well as a clear concession on my part, would have alleviated my neighbor's brash response.

In conclusion, I think I learned that I need to express myself clearly, in terms that are not emotionally laden, but still express how I am feeling in the situation at hand. I need to offer a reasonable solution from the beginning. It is important to have an honest and respectful resolution planned from the outset of the conflict, if possible. Most importantly, by talking about the conflict honestly, it gives offenders a chance to recognize why one is upset and is less likely to make them defensive.